Scuba Steve goes for a run

I know what you are thinking. Seriously, right now. You are all like how can I make a hard choice between supporting two compelling organizations while encouraging Nick to run an extravagant race in an exotic local?

See, that’s my gift. I’m good at getting inside the minds of people. People like you.

Since you were thinking it anyway, I have an idea. Bear with me here. You’ll probably need your iPhones or Spotify playlist. Go ahead, get it. I’ll wait.

Here’s the deal, I’m running…or attempting to run… the Paris Marathon on April 6, 2014. Yeah yeah, dans les printemps and all that jazz. But the fundamental truth is, among the 49,999 other people sloughing it out, I’ll really be alone. Oh look, I’m at kilometer…wait…kilo-what!? And look, there’s a sign? Or is it a baby smoking a Gauloises? Where am I? …Says the devote francophile.

But, I have a solution to this courir un marathon conundrum of mine. In fact, I’m proposing you come with me. And here’s how it will work:

you propose a song and a time

This will be my first marathon avec headphones. I need some jams yo. In the comments below, you: * suggest a pumped up track and a reason why it matters to you * place your bet…nay…donation amount * you suggest a mile marker and time at which I should listen to said track. For example, you write: Rocky IV Training Montage Song, Mile 14, 1 hour 20 minutes. (First of all, good choice!) * I’ll program it, using my mobile internet communicator device, to play at your proposed time

and here’s the rub

If I beat your time, you donate. Big bucks people. This isn’t messing around time. If I run the frickin’ Paris marathon faster than either of us expects —and lets face it, I haven’t exactly been training —then you should pony up, right? And, being a free market society, you have two options:

but wait

If I fail to beat your song, at the proposed time and mile marker, I’ll match whatever donation you propose *

It’s that simple. Your song, your time/mile marker…if I beat it, you win, if you beat my pace, everyone wins.

the fine print

    • I’ll match single donations up to $250 and a total donation cumulative amount up to $1,000 (a dude’s gotta pay rent too!)
  • my expected marathon pace is 9:30 / mile
  • If you pick a rotten song, like say, anything by The Smashing Pumpkins, I reserve the right to veto and you must make your donation promptly
  • If I fail to finish the race, I’ll cover all the donations

The important part

Thank you for considering this. Any song, encouragement and, most importantly, donation, you can provide is extremely appreciated. Running, despite its simplicity, is a luxury. There are far too many people who, for whatever reason, don’t get to enjoy this sport. If we can rock out while we race and raise some help for them, then we’ve done a good thing.

Your friend, -N


The Rocky IV Training Montage